Okay so I know I haven't posted anything in a verrrrry long time, but! That will all be changing.
So with the new year fast approaching, I wanted to reflect back and actually think about this past year.
Going through this year has just felt like it's gotten worse, and worse and worse as it's gone on. But, as I sit here now I just think about all the good that has actually come from it.
New friends and relationships, new hobbies, new ambitions and more importantly, I've learned so so much this last year.
I've learned that no matter what, if I can't trust anything else; I can trust my gut instincts. And that, to me is one of the most important things I could have learned. I know now that whenever I feel something is wrong or off that I have to trust it. Because at the end of the day, the sad reality of it is that people will treat you exactly how they're going to treat you and it doesn't matter how well you treat them; you cannot force a person to treat you well, you can't force them to be loyal or treat you how you deserve to be treated. What you can control is how you handle things.
Now, I admit that I haven't always handled things well. But I like to think I've learned now what I have to do in future.
One thing I think we need to remember is when people treat us badly is it's nothing to do with us. The way people treat each other is more a reflection of themselves rather than anything else. This isn't a justification of their behavior and in no way does it make it okay. But what other reason could there possibly be for someone treating you less than you deserve?
Letting go of things is something I've struggled with a lot. I've held onto the past more than I should have and what I need to remember is the only person holding on hurts, is me. Because people who wrong you aren't going to be sat there grieving, they're not going to be wondering how you are because the simple fact is if they really, truly cared about you; they wouldn't have treated you such a way to begin with. And as painful as it may be to come to that realization, the only way from there, is up. Once you know your worth and how you deserve to be treated; everything opens up and you feel a million times lighter, as I do now.
I'm not angry about the things that have happened, I'm not hurting or upset or anything anymore. I'm simply picking myself up like I have done a million times before and will continue to do so a million times in the future.
So for those of you who have had a shitty year, a shitty few years or longer. Remember that you have to pick yourself up and keep going because nothing gets done when you hide yourself away.
More importantly, put yourself first. I don't mean become a self centered asshole but look after yourself, do things just for you every now and then. Stop trying to please everyone else and just do things that are going to make you happy because at the end of the day, the only person you can really depend on; is yourself. So be kind to yourself and as cheesy as it sounds, learn to love yourself and understand what you deserve and don't except any less than just that.
So I hope you all had a good Christmas and I hope you all have an epic new year, I plan to spend mine insanely drunk ^_^
Until next time guys x